United States · the looking board

Bondage personals in New York

New York is the one place on this board where the rope scene is too big to be a single room. There are several of them, they overlap only at the edges, and somebody can start seeing a new partner without dragging their whole history along behind them. That is a rarer freedom than it sounds. The cost is that reputation here is patchy: ask around about a rigger and you get three people who have never heard of him, so working out who you are dealing with rests more on what you notice yourself.

Posts come from Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and the Jersey side. People lead with their side of the city because a rope evening has to survive the journey home.

Pinned to the door

A post here is somebody saying what they want from rope and who they want it with. Say what you tie or how you like to be tied, how long you have been at it, and roughly where you are. Leave out the rest. No names, email addresses, phone numbers, messaging handles, links to other profiles or photographs are published on this board, and none are asked for. Nothing here is for hire either. Nobody is selling a session, a tie or an hour, and a post that tries comes off the same day.

Off too: a post describing somebody who did not write it, and the same paragraph pinned to six cities at once. Everything else stays up for forty-five days and then comes down, because a rope partner found in April should not still be advertised in July. If a post reads wrong to you, there is a flag on it, and pulling that is better than writing back. Posting and answering both run through your own account rather than this page.

Riggers in New York

Looking for somebody to tie, and saying what they want the rest of the week to look like.

My year is feast or famine and it decides everything about this

Wants: somebody who can handle a lopsided year without treating it as a verdict

From about September to January I work seven days a week and I am no company for anybody. The rest of the year I have an almost embarrassing amount of free time and can meet somebody for coffee on a Wednesday afternoon at four hours' notice. There is no middle. That is what freelancing in my line looks like and it has been the same shape for eight years.

the_freelance_year Brooklyn Eight years, two partnerships, both strained by the same four months. 30 Jul 2026

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Two people are already in my week, and you would be told

Wants: a partner who wants clarity rather than a comfortable vagueness

There are two people in my week. One is a partner of six years who lives uptown and does not tie. The other is a practice arrangement that has run for four years, is entirely non romantic, happens on the same evening every week and has never once been anything else. Both of them know about each other, have met, and are on perfectly good terms.

two_people_i_say_so Manhattan Eleven years, one long partner, one practice arrangement of four years. 22 Jul 2026

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The circle I came up in dissolved and I barely noticed

Wants: one person, and possibly a couple of friends, at a very unhurried pace

The group I came up in stopped, gradually, in the way these things do. Two people moved, one had children, one got ill, the person who organised everything got tired of organising everything, and by the time I looked up it had been a year since I had seen any of them. Nobody fell out. It simply ended.

everybody_has_gone the Bronx Twenty one years, one circle, which no longer exists. 18 Jul 2026

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Rope bottoms in New York

Looking for somebody to be tied by, with the terms set out before anybody starts.

I care for my mother, so two hours is genuinely all I have

Wants: somebody who can work with two hours and will not push for three

My mother lives with me and needs somebody in the apartment most of the time. There is a woman who sits with her two afternoons a week and my brother takes one evening a month. That is the whole of my free time and it has been for two years, and it will be for however long this goes on.

mother_lives_with_us Queens Seven years, one long partnership, on hold for the last two. 12 Aug 2026

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My body changed and my limits changed with it, permanently

Wants: somebody interested in the body in front of him rather than a remembered one

I am about forty pounds heavier than I was at forty, my knees have opinions now, and there is a whole category of thing I used to do easily that I am simply not going to do again. None of that is a tragedy. It is what happened, it happened over three years, and what I want is a partner who is interested in the person in front of him rather than in a version he has read about.

the_body_i_have_now Manhattan Twelve years, and the last three of them in a different body. 8 Aug 2026

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Switches in New York

Both ends of the rope, and a partner who can handle the swap without making it a subject.

I tie in one circle and get tied in another, and they never meet

Wants: somebody who would know both halves of me at once

In one part of this city I am somebody who ties. In another part, twenty minutes away, I am somebody who gets tied. Those two rooms do not overlap and as far as I know not one person has ever been in both. It started as an accident of who I met first and it has hardened into a genuinely odd way to live.

two_halves Brooklyn Ten years, split down the middle between two groups of strangers. 4 Aug 2026

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Nine months, a great many messages, and four actual replies

Wants: one person who will write back like a human being

Since November I have written what I would guess is forty considered messages and had four replies. Two of those were a single line. One was somebody explaining that they were looking for something else, which was decent of them and which I mean sincerely. One turned into a conversation and then stopped mid sentence for no reason I will ever learn.

messaging_nobody the Bronx Three years, one short thing, and an increasingly poor opinion of boards. 26 Jul 2026

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Couples in New York

Two people posting together, whether they both tie or only one of them does.

We came from two scenes that had never heard of each other

Wants: friendships that do not require us to choose one crowd

When we met, each of us had been doing this for years and neither of us recognised a single name the other mentioned. Not one. Two people in the same city, both fairly involved, with entirely separate maps of the same activity. We found that funny for about a month and then realised it was going to be a genuine problem.

different_circles Manhattan Nine years and six years, in two groups with no overlap at all. 16 Aug 2026

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The rest of the scene in New York

A board is one way into a local scene and the narrowest one. Most people who tie in New York met somebody in a room, not on a page like this.

What a rope workshop evening is actually like
Dating inside an online rope community
The rules nobody posts on the door
What dating inside a small scene costs you

The other boards

A scene is a different size in every city, and the board runs in 21 of them.

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Pin yours in New York

A board full of people looking is no use until one of them is you. To put a post in front of people who tie near you, and to answer theirs, use the platform this site connects to.

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