Rope bottoms · Queens, New York
I care for my mother, so two hours is genuinely all I have
Pinned as mother_lives_with_us
- Wants
- somebody who can work with two hours and will not push for three
- Rope so far
- Seven years, one long partnership, on hold for the last two.
- Around
- Queens, New York
My mother lives with me and needs somebody in the apartment most of the time. There is a woman who sits with her two afternoons a week and my brother takes one evening a month. That is the whole of my free time and it has been for two years, and it will be for however long this goes on.
Thirty eight, Queens, seven years in. Two hours, twice a week, in daylight, is what I have to offer. It is not much. It is also completely reliable, which I have come to think is worth more than people expect, because I am never going to cancel for a work thing or a better offer.
What I need from somebody is the ability to hear two hours and not spend the next six months gently campaigning for a whole evening. Two people have done that, both of them nice, and both times I ended up managing their disappointment on top of everything else.
What I want is a partnership rather than a series of appointments, which I know is a strange thing to ask for inside such a narrow window. I think it is possible. It requires somebody whose own life is full and who wants a fixed, unhurried, entirely dependable thing in it.
Not looking for anybody who wants to meet my mother or help with any of that, kindly meant as it always is. Not looking for evenings. And not looking to be told that I need to take care of myself, which is what I am attempting to do by writing this.