Switches · Queens, New York
A group chat discussed my relationship before I did
Pinned as group_chat_ate_it
- Wants
- somebody who keeps their private life off a screen full of acquaintances
- Rope so far
- Seven years, both ends, and one very public private life.
- Around
- Queens, New York
The thing about a chat with sixty people in it is that it has a scrollback. A pub table forgets. That does not, and last year I found out that a difficult fortnight in my relationship had been discussed at some length in a place I was not, by people who were mostly being kind, before either of us had properly discussed it ourselves.
Thirty six, Queens, seven years in. Nobody was malicious. Somebody was worried, said so to a friend, and the friend said it in the wrong place. That is how it always goes and being furious about it turned out to be useless.
What I do now is simple and it has cost me a certain amount of social standing. I am not in those chats. I do not discuss anybody I am seeing in writing with people I would describe as acquaintances. If I have a problem I take it to two friends who do not do any of this.
So the person I am looking for is somebody who runs their life the same way. It is not secrecy. Half this city knows I do this. It is that the details belong to the two people in them.
Not looking for anybody who is very online about this. Not looking for someone who would post about us anywhere at all. And not looking to be talked into rejoining anything, since I sleep considerably better now.