Switches · Brooklyn, New York
I have been to eleven evenings and said almost nothing at all
Pinned as quiet_at_everything
- Wants
- somebody who will write to me first, because I will not manage it
- Rope so far
- Two years, mostly standing at the edge of rooms.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
Eleven evenings over two years and I doubt I have said five hundred words in total across all of them. I arrive, I find something to lean on, I have two decent conversations if somebody starts them, and then I go home and lie awake reviewing my own sentences. This is not misery, incidentally. I enjoy them. I am simply useless at the part everyone else finds easy.
Thirty, Brooklyn, two years in. I have concluded that whatever is going to happen for me is not going to happen in a room, because in a room I am approximately eleven per cent of myself.
In writing I am fine. In a conversation with one person I am better than fine. The problem is exclusively the getting there, and the honest ask in this post is that somebody writes to me rather than waiting for me to do it, because I will not.
I lean towards being tied and I have done a bit of the other and liked it more than expected. Two years is not long and I know it. What I want is one person, slowly, starting with a great deal of talking.
Not looking for anybody who wants to bring me out of my shell, which has been attempted and is unbearable. Not looking for a person who thinks quiet means compliant, which is a mistake people make about me and then find out about. And not looking to be anybody's first attempt at anything.