Switches · Brooklyn, New York
If you hint at it I will miss it, every single time
Pinned as said_out_loud
- Wants
- somebody who says the actual sentence rather than the approach to it
- Rope so far
- Five years, both ends, and a long history of missing the signal.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
I do not pick things up. Tone, implication, the pause before somebody says they are fine: all of it goes past me. I have been told this my whole life and in most contexts it is a mild inconvenience. In this it is the central fact about me and pretending otherwise has caused two people a worse evening than they deserved.
Thirty three, Brooklyn, five years in. What I need is for things to be said in words, at the time, in the plainest available version. Not a gesture. Not a face. The sentence. In return I do exactly the same, which several people have found refreshing and at least one found brutal.
The odd consequence is that I am much better at this than I am at ordinary dating, because here the plain sentence is what everybody claims to want anyway. In an ordinary relationship I miss things for weeks.
I go both ways. When I am the one tying I ask a lot of questions and I have been told the frequency is either reassuring or annoying, with no middle group. What I want is one person, over years, with a shared vocabulary we build deliberately.
Not looking for anybody who considers explicitness unsexy, because we would both be miserable. Not looking for a partner who tests whether I noticed something. And not looking for anything that relies on either of us reading the other's mood correctly.