Riggers · the Jersey side, New York
Alternate weeks with my kids, so my life comes in fortnights
Pinned as week_has_two
- Wants
- somebody whose own week is full and who is glad of the off weeks
- Rope so far
- Ten years, married for eight of them, three years divorced.
- Around
- the Jersey side, New York
My children are with me one week in two. On those weeks I am not available at all, and I mean that in the flat sense rather than as a negotiating position. On the other weeks the apartment is silent and I am free almost every evening.
Thirty four, the Jersey side, ten years in. That fortnightly rhythm is the shape of everything and it will be for a long time. What I have learned in three years of dating inside it is that people say they are fine with it and then find week one lonely, and that the ones who genuinely thrive are people whose own lives are already full.
What I want is something long. In practice that means about six evenings a month, which is more than it sounds and less than most people picture when they imagine a rope relationship. I would rather be honest about the arithmetic than be charming about it.
I am reliable on my weeks and completely unavailable on the others, and I do not do exceptions, because the whole arrangement at home depends on my not doing exceptions.
Not looking for anybody who wants to meet my children, now or in the foreseeable future. Not looking for someone who will read the off weeks as a lack of interest. And not looking for anything that needs to happen at short notice, since my week is decided a month ahead and shared with somebody I used to be married to.