Riggers · the Bronx, New York
Three trains each way, which I will do, but let us discuss it
Pinned as three_trains
- Wants
- somebody who will look at the map with me before either of us gets attached
- Rope so far
- Seven years, two partnerships, one of which died on the platform.
- Around
- the Bronx, New York
Where I live, getting anywhere anybody else lives is three trains and about eighty minutes. I have done it for a person before and I would do it again, and I have also learned that doing it without discussing it produces a slow resentment that arrives around month five disguised as something else entirely.
Twenty nine, the Bronx, seven years in. What ended my last partnership was not the travel itself. It was that I never said anything, then began cancelling for invented reasons, then had to explain in one go why I had been strange for two months. She was rightly annoyed about the strangeness rather than the trains.
So I now start with a map conversation. Where are you, how often could you come here, how often could I come there, and what do we do in February. Twenty minutes, at the beginning, and it has already made this easier.
What I want is one person and something that runs for years. I am home most evenings, I do not travel for work, and I am about as reliable as it is possible to be once something is in my calendar. I should say the Bronx is not the end of the world and there are people who behave as though it is. That has become a useful filter.
Not looking for anybody who will agree to visit and then never once do it. Not looking for something occasional, since occasional plus eighty minutes is not worth either of our time. And not looking to move.