Riggers · Queens, New York
I do not like doing this in front of people and never have
Pinned as no_audience
- Wants
- a partner who also prefers a closed door to a full room
- Rope so far
- Sixteen years, and perhaps four evenings of it in company.
- Around
- Queens, New York
Something happens to me when other people are in the room and it is not stage fright. I become a worse partner. I start watching how it looks rather than watching the person, and I have caught myself making decisions for an audience I had not even acknowledged noticing. Four times was enough to establish the pattern.
Forty five, Queens, sixteen years in. This is a genuine incompatibility rather than a preference, because a large amount of the social life of this thing happens in rooms full of people, and a partner who wants that will slowly find me disappointing.
What I can offer instead is complete attention behind a closed door, twice a week, for years. What I cannot offer is a companion for the sociable half of it. I will come to dinner. I will meet your friends. I will not be tying anybody where anyone can see.
I have had two relationships founder on this and in both cases we found out in month four in an atmosphere of mutual disappointment, which is why it is now paragraph one. What I want is one person, at home, over a long stretch, with all the ordinary domestic business around it.
Not looking for anybody whose main pleasure in this is being watched, which is a real and legitimate thing and simply not mine. Not looking to be talked into trying it again. And not looking for a partner who would want photographs.