Riggers · the west, London
A year off, back since March, slower than I remember being
Pinned as rusty_and_saying_so
- Wants
- somebody unbothered by an experienced person having a beginner's year
- Rope so far
- Eight years, then fourteen months of nothing, and a careful spring.
- Around
- the west, London
I stopped for over a year when my last relationship ended. I told myself it was a break. It was avoidance, and I only worked that out in about January. I have been back since March, and the thing nobody warns you about is that confidence goes first and returns last, long after the hands have remembered what they were doing.
Thirty five, west London, eight years in before the gap. What that means in practice is that I know exactly what I mean to do and I am about a beat behind it, and the gap between those two things is precisely where I used to enjoy myself. It is coming back. It is coming back more slowly than my pride would like.
So I am after somebody who is relaxed about that. Not somebody who needs me to be impressive, and not somebody who wants to be reassured that I am very experienced, because at the moment I am experienced and out of practice, which are two different states and only one of them is useful to you.
What I want is a long thing with one person. Regular, unglamorous, twice a week if that suits us both, for years rather than months. That is also, conveniently, the only way I get properly back to where I was.
Not looking for anything that starts fast. Not looking for a partner who wants a demonstration in the first month. And not looking for someone in the middle of their own upheaval, because I have just come out of mine and I know what I would be like.