Riggers · the south east, London
This takes two evenings a week, for years, and most people leave
Pinned as two_evenings_a_week
- Wants
- somebody who reads that as a description rather than a warning
- Rope so far
- Nine years, three partnerships, two of which ended over the schedule.
- Around
- the south east, London
The unromantic thing goes at the top. To be any good at this, and to stay any good at it, I need to be doing it twice most weeks with the same person over years. That is not devotion and it is not intensity. It is maintenance, and it is the reason two of my three partnerships ended.
Both of those endings looked like something else at the time. One was described as my being obsessive. The other was described as her being unable to commit. Neither was true. What actually happened in both cases was that two evenings a week is a great deal of a week, and nobody had sat down at the start and said so out loud.
So I am saying it out loud. Thirty six, south east, nine years in. If you want a rope relationship rather than an occasional rope evening, that is roughly the shape of the thing, and it means the two of us would see each other more than most couples of our age manage. Some people hear that and feel claustrophobic, which is a perfectly sane reaction and much better arrived at now than in month seven.
What I would like is somebody who wants that much contact with one person and is not embarrassed to say so. I am extremely reliable, I am not dramatic, and I do not cancel.
Not looking for anything monthly. Not looking for somebody with three other arrangements already. And not looking to be told I should learn to be more spontaneous.