Rope bottoms · the western districts, Berlin
I want a partner, not a community, and I know that is unusual here
Pinned as not_here_for_scene
- Wants
- one person, at home, with no social apparatus attached
- Rope so far
- Eight years, and about four evenings of it in company.
- Around
- the western districts, Berlin
Almost everything organised in this city assumes you want to be part of something. I do not. I have been to a handful of gatherings over eight years, found the people perfectly pleasant, and left each time thinking that what I actually wanted was one person and a closed door.
Thirty eight, out west, eight years in. I am aware this makes me a slightly odd fit for a board where a lot of people are looking for their way into a community, and I would rather be plain about it than turn up to things and be visibly reluctant.
What I want is domestic. A standing evening, cooking, somebody I see constantly and nobody else knows about. That is not secrecy. Several people in my life know I do this and nobody minds. It is that the social half holds nothing for me and I have stopped pretending otherwise.
I recognise the argument that a community is where accountability lives, and I would say that I have two friends who do this, who know exactly who I am seeing, and who would say something if they thought I was being an idiot.
Not looking for anybody whose social life is mostly in this, because I would be a disappointment within a month. Not looking to be persuaded to come to things. And not looking for a partner who wants us known as a pair anywhere, since I am barely known myself.