Couples · the west end, Toronto
Four years, side by side, nobody teaching either of us, for better and worse
Pinned as learned_together
- Wants
- another pair who worked it out themselves and will compare notes
- Rope so far
- Four years each, learned together, no instructor at any point.
- Around
- the west end, Toronto
Nobody taught us. We started at the same time, four years ago, from nothing, and everything either of us knows we found out slowly and in each other's company. We are aware this is not the route anybody recommends and we are not recommending it. We are describing it, because the effect on the relationship has been the genuinely interesting part.
Twenty nine and thirty one, the west end, together six years. The good half is that there is no seniority between us. Neither of us is the one who knows. Every decision about what we do and do not do has been made by two people of equal standing, and that has bled into the rest of our life in ways we did not anticipate at all.
The other half is that we have almost certainly built in habits somebody with more experience would find odd, and no way of knowing which ones. We are slow, we are cautious with ourselves, and we took a fairly narrow path early and have stayed on it since.
So what we would like is a couple in the same position who fancy comparing notes over dinner. Not a lesson. Not a demonstration of anything. A conversation between four people who each worked something out on their own and are curious what the other pair concluded.
We are not looking for a third and we are not looking to be adopted by anybody's group.