Couples · the east, London
We learned this together from nothing and we have gone wrong somewhere
Pinned as taught_each_other
- Wants
- people who will be honest with us about habits we cannot see
- Rope so far
- Four years, entirely self taught, never in a room with anybody else.
- Around
- the east, London
Four years ago we decided to learn this together, from zero, with nobody to ask, and we are proud of that and increasingly suspicious of it. We have habits. Neither of us can remember where they came from. There is an entire way we do things that has never once been looked at by anybody who was not one of us, and we have started to think that is a bit like marking your own homework for four years.
We are in our thirties, east London, together seven years and doing this for four of them. Neither of us has ever been to anything. That was shyness at first and then it was simply the way our life had settled, and now the idea of walking into a room of people who all know each other is faintly horrifying to both of us.
So this is us trying to be braver about it. What we would like is to know one or two people, or another couple, well enough to be honest with. Not instruction. Company, and the sort of friendship where somebody can say that a thing we do looks odd from outside.
We are aware that a couple who have only ever done this with each other can be quite insular company, and we are trying not to be.
Not looking for a third, and we will keep saying that because it is the assumption every time. Not looking for anybody to teach us formally. And not looking for anything that would require us to be in a large room on our first attempt, because we would not come.