Couples · the west, London
He ties, I do not, and we are posting about that together
Pinned as he_ties_i_read
- Wants
- a rope partner for him, on terms all three of us have agreed out loud
- Rope so far
- He has fourteen years. I have a sofa and a good book.
- Around
- the west, London
I am writing this and he will read it before it goes up, which is roughly how we do everything. He ties. I have tried it twice, politely, and discovered that I feel absolutely nothing about it, which was a relief to us both once we stopped pretending there was a knack I had yet to find.
What we worked out, over about a year of unglamorous conversation, is that this is not a kink he can simply put down. It is a thing he does with his hands that gets worse if he stops, and it needs another person to stay any good at all. So we agreed he would practise elsewhere, and then spent another six months working out what that actually meant, because the first version was vague and vague nearly ruined a good year.
The terms, since they are the useful part of this post. One named person rather than an open arrangement. A regular evening that is in our calendar too. No secrecy in either direction, and nobody has to be interrogated on a Wednesday. And whoever it is comes to this house at some point and has dinner, because the arrangements that go wrong are the ones where I never meet anybody.
We are in our late forties, west London, married a long time.
Not looking for a third. Not looking for anybody who wants to keep it hidden from me, which is the exact opposite of the point. And not looking for someone who will find my presence in this odd, because I am the reason it works.