Switches · Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
I am shouted at professionally, so I need the evening silent
Pinned as quiet_half_of_week
- Wants
- somebody who is comfortable with long stretches of saying nothing
- Rope so far
- Nine years, both ends, and a low tolerance for noise.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
I work in a room where forty people talk at once for nine hours and then I go home and cannot bear a radio. That has consequences for this that took me years to understand, and the main one is that I do not want an evening full of talking. I want an hour where almost nothing is said and both of us are concentrating.
Thirty seven, Prenzlauer Berg, nine years in and both ends of the rope. What I have found is that a lot of people fill silence out of politeness, and that an evening spent being asked whether everything is all right every four minutes is worse for me than one where nothing is checked at all.
That is not what I am asking for. I am asking for the version where the checking is agreed in advance and then done economically, in three words rather than a conversation, which any experienced person will recognise as ordinary.
I am aware this makes me sound severe. I am not. I talk a great deal at dinner.
Not looking for anybody who needs constant verbal reassurance, which is a legitimate need and not one I can meet. Not looking for something in a room with other people in it. And not looking for a partner who will interpret quiet as unhappiness, which is the single most common misreading of me and the one that has ended two things.