Riggers · Kreuzberg, Berlin
I have come out of a household of four and I want one person
Pinned as out_of_a_house
- Wants
- one partner, straightforwardly, after eight years of something larger
- Rope so far
- Fifteen years, eight of them inside a shared household.
- Around
- Kreuzberg, Berlin
For eight years I was one of four adults in one flat with a shared calendar on the kitchen wall and a Sunday meeting nobody enjoyed. It worked far better than people assume and it ended without any drama at all, because two of them moved and the arrangement did not survive the geography.
Thirty four, Kreuzberg, fifteen years in. What I want now is the opposite, and I want to say why so that it does not read as a rejection of anybody. In a household that size the rope was always negotiated against everybody else's evening. There was never a week where I could simply decide. I want to find out what this is like when it is two people and nobody else has a stake in the calendar.
I am not against anybody else's arrangements and I would be a hypocrite if I were. I am saying that for the next few years I want one relationship with all of my attention in it.
What that looks like in practice: a standing evening or two, one person, over a long stretch.
Not looking for a place in an existing household, however well run, since I have just left one. Not looking for somebody who wants to hear how ours worked, because it is a long answer and I am tired of giving it. And not looking to be anybody's cautionary tale, as it was mostly good.