Couples · Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
He ties, I watch, and I am not a spare part in this
Pinned as one_ties_one_watches
- Wants
- another couple with an arrangement that also confuses people
- Rope so far
- Twelve years for him. Twelve years of being in the room for me.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
I do not tie and I do not get tied. What I do is sit in the room, and I have done that for twelve years, and it is not a consolation prize or a stage on the way to participating. It is the thing I want and I have stopped explaining it apologetically.
What people struggle with is that it makes me neither one of the two obvious categories. At gatherings I am read as a partner who is being tolerant, which I am not, or as somebody who has not yet worked out what they like, which after twelve years is a bit of a reach.
We are forty four and forty seven, Prenzlauer Berg, together sixteen years. He ties, mostly me being present and occasionally with a friend of ours who has been part of this for years.
What we would like is another couple whose arrangement also requires a paragraph of explanation. We suspect there are more of us than the categories suggest and that we all just quietly avoid describing ourselves.
Not looking for a third, and we will keep saying it. Not looking for anybody who wants to bring me round to trying it, which has been attempted kindly and repeatedly. And not looking for a couple who need us to fit a shape, because we manifestly do not.