Riggers · Neukölln, Berlin
Nine years with one person, and then she went home
Pinned as nine_years_a_border
- Wants
- somebody local, and I have become inflexible about that
- Rope so far
- Twenty years, one partnership of nine, one year of long distance.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
Nine years, and then her father became ill and she went back to Warsaw, and we spent a year trying to do it across a border before we both admitted what we had known since about month three. Trains, calls, four days a month, and a slow conversion of a relationship into an administrative task.
Fifty two, Neukölln, twenty years in. That year taught me one thing very thoroughly, which is that this particular practice does not survive on visits. It runs on frequency. Two ordinary evenings a week build something that four extraordinary days a month simply do not, and I would not have believed that before I tested it.
So I am now inflexible about geography in a way I would once have found small minded. Somebody in this city, reachable in under an hour, who intends to remain.
What I want is another long one. I am not interested in a series of introductions and I have no curiosity left about meeting new people for its own sake.
Not looking for anything long distance, under any framing, however temporary it is said to be. Not looking for somebody who is here for a fixed period, which I know rules out a good share of this board. And not looking to be told that it can work if two people want it enough, because two people did want it enough.