Switches · the east end, Toronto
We split, the circle did not, and he is at everything I go to
Pinned as ex_same_circle
- Wants
- somebody who will not need me to choose between a person and a scene
- Rope so far
- Five years, one relationship of three, and an ongoing social arrangement.
- Around
- the east end, Toronto
He is at everything. Not out of spite and not to make a point: he was there before me, those are his friends as much as mine, and there is no version of this in which one of us gets the room. We have been apart fourteen months and I have seen him at least twice a month for all of them. We are polite. It is fine. It is also a low hum I have not managed to switch off.
Twenty eight, the east end, five years in and both directions. Nothing bad happened, which I want to be clear about. It ended because we wanted different things and we both behaved well. That is precisely why it is awkward: there is no story that lets anybody take a side, so nobody does, which is correct and leaves me managing it on my own.
The reason it belongs in a post is that anybody who gets involved with me is walking into it. You will meet him. People will know we were together. Somebody will say something clumsy eventually, probably about how well the two of us handle it.
I would rather put all of that here than have somebody find out in month three and feel ambushed. What I want is one person secure enough to be in a room with a piece of my history without needing it explained or removed. I am aware that is a great deal to ask of a stranger and I am asking anyway.