Switches · downtown, Toronto
Everything I know about this came through a screen and I am nervous
Pinned as only_at_a_distance
- Wants
- somebody willing to be the first person I do this with in a room
- Rope so far
- Four years entirely at a distance, both directions, none of it in person.
- Around
- downtown, Toronto
Everything I know came through a screen. Four years of it, two of those with the same person, hundreds of hours of talking and reading and being talked through things, and not one minute in the same room as another human being. I was good at the version I was doing. I am also aware that it may not transfer at all.
Twenty nine, downtown, and honest about the gap. I know how this reads. There is a familiar sort of person with an elaborate idea of themselves that evaporates the first time anything is real, and I cannot prove from a post that I am not one. What I can tell you is that I have thought hard about why I stayed at a distance for four years, and the answer was nerve rather than preference.
The other thing I should say is that I have firm opinions about both directions and no idea which one I will actually be, in a room, with a real person's weight and voice in front of me. That uncertainty is genuine and I would rather bring it into the open than perform a confidence I have not earned.
What I want to start with is unspectacular. Meeting somewhere ordinary, in daylight, and talking for an hour with nothing riding on it. If that goes well, again. If it does not, I will say so rather than going quiet, which is more than most of the people I have spoken to here have managed.