Every arrival in my building is on camera, and I stopped minding in March

There is a log at the front desk of my building with the name of every person who has ever come up to see me written in it. That is not sinister, it is simply how the place runs, and for about four years I let it quietly decide who I saw and how often. In March I stopped letting it.

Thirty two, downtown, nine years in and both ends of it. What made me stop was noticing that I had turned into somebody who chose partners partly on whether they would look ordinary crossing a lobby. That is a genuinely ridiculous basis for a relationship and I had been doing it for years without once saying it out loud.

The realisation was helped along by my neighbour, who has had the same three friends over on Thursdays for a decade and has never wondered for a second what anybody thinks. The building is full of people living their lives in front of a camera and I appear to have been the only one who found it noteworthy.

So what I am after is a regular visitor. Somebody who comes here on a schedule, is seen doing it, and does not need the timing arranged around a shift change at the desk. I do both directions and I want both with the same person, which halves the field and is not negotiable.

I have very little patience left for anybody who needs this invisible. I did four years of the invisible version and it was smaller than it needed to be.