Riggers · North York, Toronto
Five months indoors did something to us that the summer had been hiding
Pinned as last_winter_nearly
- Wants
- somebody willing to discuss the difficult half of the year first
- Rope so far
- Nineteen years, one partnership of eight, ended in the spring.
- Around
- North York, Toronto
Last February we had a conversation in my kitchen that I have thought about every week since. Eight years together, and we had spent the previous four months almost entirely in one apartment looking at the same two rooms, and she said, quite calmly, that she no longer knew whether she liked me or was simply used to me. She was not being cruel. She was right to ask.
Forty five, North York, nineteen years in this. We did not survive it, and I have spent a year working out that the winter did not break anything. It removed the scaffolding. From May to October we were out constantly, with other people, in daylight, and neither of us had to look very hard at what we actually had. Then the city closed and there was nowhere else to put the question.
So I am starting this one in May, deliberately, and I want the awkward conversation now. What does a February look like to you. How much of each other is too much. What do we do about the fact that from November onwards this is two people in a heated room and nothing else at all.
I am not gloomy about it. Some of the best months of those eight years were January months. But I will not build another one on a summer and hope, and if that makes me sound like hard work in a post written in the spring, I can live with the reputation.