Riggers · the west, London
Twenty two years with one person, and none at all since
Pinned as twenty_two_then_none
- Wants
- friendship first, and possibly nothing more than that
- Rope so far
- Twenty two years, one partner, widowed three years ago.
- Around
- the west, London
She died three years ago in the February and I have not tied anybody since. Not out of loyalty, exactly. It is more that what we did was so completely built around one particular person that doing it with somebody else feels like speaking a private language to a stranger who is being polite about it.
Fifty eight, west London. I have been back to a couple of social evenings this year and found them easier than expected, mostly because half the room knew her and nobody made a fuss.
What I am posting for is company rather than a partnership, and I want to be honest that I do not know whether it will ever become one. I would like to know somebody. I would like to be asked how my week has been by a person who does not lower their voice when they ask. If in a year that has turned into an evening with rope in it, good. If it has not, that is not a failure and I will not treat it as one.
I am also aware that I am about to be somebody's difficult project if I am not careful, so I will say it plainly: I am not sad all the time, I am not looking to be looked after, and I am extremely good company on most days.
Not looking for anyone who wants to hear about the last two years of her illness. Not looking to be told about closure. And not looking for anything that has to move at a particular speed to count.