Rope bottoms · the south east, London
My shoulder changed, and so did everything I can say yes to
Pinned as shoulder_decides
- Wants
- a partner who hears a limit as information rather than as a challenge
- Rope so far
- Nine years, most of it with one person, and a body that has changed since.
- Around
- the south east, London
I injured my shoulder at work three years ago and it has never entirely come back. What that means here is short and it is settled. There are things I am not going to do again, I will tell you which ones early and without drama, and I would like that to be the end of the conversation rather than the opening of a negotiation.
Forty four, south east, nine years in. The man I was with for six of them was never unkind about it. He was just endlessly hopeful. Every couple of months there would be a gentle suggestion that we try the old way again and see whether things had improved. They had not improved. They are not going to.
What I still want is most of the rest of it, and I would rather talk about that than about what I have lost. My sense of what my own body is doing is far better than it was before the injury, mainly because I had to learn it properly, and I am quicker to say something is wrong than I used to be.
The best evenings I have had since were with someone who asked a great many practical questions at the beginning and then never raised the subject again. That is exactly the register I am after: interested at the start, unbothered afterwards.
Not looking for anybody who finds the constraint sad, or who wants to tell me about their cousin's physiotherapist. Not looking for someone who will treat every limit as a starting position. And not looking for a project.