Switches · the south east, London
I do not do practice partners, which narrows this considerably
Pinned as only_people_im_with
- Wants
- one person, in a relationship, with no separate arrangements on either side
- Rope so far
- Twelve years, three relationships, no outside practice in any of them.
- Around
- the south east, London
I only do this with somebody I am actually with. That is not a moral position and I am not suggesting anyone else adopt it. It is simply how it works for me, and it means I say no to the arrangement that most of this city runs on, which cuts the number of people I could plausibly end up with by something like ninety per cent.
Thirty eight, south east, twelve years in. I have tried the other way twice, early on, and found that I could not make it mean nothing. Not because anything untoward happened. Because an hour of that much attention with somebody does something to how I feel about them, reliably, every time, and I would rather build my life around knowing that than keep being surprised by it.
The consequence is that I am asking for something quite old fashioned. One person, both directions, everything inside the relationship, over years. If you have a practice partner you value, that is entirely reasonable and we are not a match, and I would rather find that out in the first exchange.
I go to things, I like the community, I have friends in it. The rope itself stays at home.
Not looking for anybody who wants to negotiate me towards a more open shape over time, because two people have tried and it took a year each. Not looking for something occasional. And not looking to explain this position at length, since I have described it as fully here as I am able to.