Switches · north of the river, London
My ex organises the evening I have been going to for nine years
Pinned as my_ex_runs_room
- Wants
- somebody who can hear all this without deciding it is a problem
- Rope so far
- Nine years, one relationship of four, inside the same small circle.
- Around
- north of the river, London
She runs it. She started it, she is the reason most of those people are in the same room at all, and we were together for four of the nine years I have been going. It ended eighteen months ago, reasonably well, and I still go, because it is my circle too and I was not going to hand it over.
That arrangement works because both of us decided it would and have been boringly consistent about it since. No pointed distance. No pointed warmth. She does not ask about my life and I do not ask about hers, and about three months in it stopped being the main thing I thought about on the way there.
Forty five, north of the river, both ends of the rope depending on the person and the week. What I need to know about anybody new is whether they can walk into that room, be introduced to her, be entirely ordinary about it, and then not raise it on the way home. Two people could not. One of them was otherwise excellent, and it ended over a conversation in a taxi.
I am not asking anybody to be unbothered. I am asking them to be bothered privately and briefly, the way adults are, rather than making it a standing subject.
Not looking for anyone who wants a full account of what went wrong. Not looking for somebody who will try to be visibly better than her at anything. And not looking to move to a different circle, because I have been in this one since my thirties.