Rope bottoms · north of the river, London
My ex is at everything, and I am not going to stop going
Pinned as he_is_at_everything
- Wants
- somebody who can be in that room without making it a subject
- Rope so far
- Seven years, one partnership of four, ended last October.
- Around
- north of the river, London
We were together four years and it finished in October, and he is at everything. Not following me anywhere. He was there before I was, he has as much claim on that room as I do, and that remains the honest position even on the evenings when I would prefer it were not.
What I have learned since is that a scene does not divide after a breakup the way a friend group does. There is nowhere for either of us to go. The same forty people meet on the same evenings and both of us want to keep seeing them, so we are courteous, we do not sit together, and neither of us has said a word about the other to anybody. That has cost more effort than the breakup did.
Thirty three, north of the river, seven years in. What I need from somebody new is not protection and it is definitely not an opinion. It is the ability to walk into a room, be introduced to a man I used to live with, be perfectly ordinary about it, and then not raise it in the car.
I would rather someone from a different circle than mine, in fact, and I say that without any drama attached. Two lives that overlap in some places and not all of them sounds restful.
Not looking for anyone who wants the story. Not looking for someone who will use it to establish that he is the better man. And not looking to be told I should find a different circle, because I helped build that one and I am staying in it.