Rope bottoms · Noord, Amsterdam
Seven hours a week, and I would rather put the number at the top
Pinned as two_evenings_and_a_talk
- Wants
- somebody for whom seven hours is obvious rather than a lot
- Rope so far
- Five years, two partnerships, both of them twice weekly.
- Around
- Noord, Amsterdam
Two evenings a week, about three hours each, plus the hour afterwards where we work out what that was. Call it seven hours. That is what I am asking for and I would rather say the number now than find out in month three that you had been imagining something fortnightly.
Seven hours does not sound like much until you go looking for it in an actual week. It comes out of somewhere. In my case it came out of seeing friends on weeknights, which I have more or less stopped doing, and out of the evenings I used to spend doing nothing at all, which I miss considerably more than I expected to.
Thirty, Noord, five years in. The conversation afterwards is not optional for me and it is the part people underestimate. It is where I find out what I actually thought. Without it I go quiet for a few days and then behave oddly on a Tuesday for reasons neither of us can trace back to anything.
What I want is somebody for whom that arithmetic is obvious rather than alarming. A standing partnership, one person, over years. I am not interested in being fitted into the gap in somebody's week, and I have got much better at spotting the shape of that in the first fortnight. Twice I have said yes to less than I wanted because the alternative was nothing, and both times it went the way you would expect.