Couples · the south, Amsterdam
Five years learning side by side, and the slow cost of it
Pinned as nobody_taught_us
- Wants
- other couples who did it the same way and are further along
- Rope so far
- Five years, entirely between the two of us, with nobody else involved.
- Around
- the south, Amsterdam
Five years, side by side, and nobody has ever shown us anything. That is not a boast. It has cost us an enormous amount of time, and there are things we spent two years being clumsy about that we suspect one conversation with somebody experienced would have sorted out in an afternoon.
We are twenty eight and thirty, the south, together six years. We started in a flat we no longer live in, out of curiosity, with no scene around us at all and no idea that there was one to find.
What we got out of doing it that way is that everything we know, we know together. There is no senior person in this relationship. Neither of us defers to the other about it. The habits are ours, they fit us, we inherited them from nobody's house style, and now that we have finally met a few people we can see how unusual that is.
What we would like is other couples, particularly ones who did it the same way, and particularly ones who are further along than we are. We have five years behind us and a very clear sense of what we do not know.
We are not asking anybody to teach us and we are not offering to teach anybody. We would like to sit with people who have been at this longer and ask a great many questions across a long dinner.