Riggers · Salford, Manchester
A study that became mine, and a wife who walked past and said nothing
Pinned as flat_full_partner_not
- Wants
- one rope partner, over years, on terms settled long ago at home
- Rope so far
- Thirteen years, and eleven of them alongside somebody entirely uninvolved.
- Around
- Salford, Manchester
A room in our flat was meant to be a study and is now, by a process nobody ever agreed to, mine. My wife looked in once in the spring, said absolutely nothing, and closed the door again. She does not tie, she is not involved, she is not bothered, and the room has gone on quietly expanding ever since.
Forty two, Salford, thirteen years in, together with her for eleven of them. She came to two things very early on, decided it was not for her, and has been relaxed about it ever since in a way I know is unusual and do not take for granted for a second.
What I am looking for is a rope partner, on terms she and I settled a long time ago across a great many unglamorous conversations. One person rather than several. A standing evening that sits in the household calendar like anything else does. Nothing hidden from her at any point, and equally nothing she is obliged to hear about in detail unless she asks.
What I want from it is a long partnership rather than an evening a month. Somebody I know properly, over years, whose week I hear about and whose bad autumn I would notice.
Not looking for somebody who would rather she did not know, which is the exact opposite of how this works. Not looking for a partner who will treat a settled home life as an obstacle to be worn down over time. And not looking to add anybody to a marriage, since she would find that very funny and decline.