Rope bottoms · the west, London
My husband knows, he agreed, and he will not be coming
Pinned as husband_does_not_tie
- Wants
- a rope partnership that can be the second thing in my week and be fine with it
- Rope so far
- Eleven years, most of it with one partner who moved abroad.
- Around
- the west, London
The arrangement at home is settled and it was settled properly, over about a year, with a lot of conversation neither of us enjoyed at the time. He does not tie, he has no wish to learn, he is not secretly curious, and he is genuinely comfortable with me doing this elsewhere. That took work and I am not going to reopen it for anybody.
The part people underestimate comes next. A real rope partnership is not an occasional evening. It is a standing night every week, plus the messages in between, plus the hour afterwards when neither of you goes home. Over a year that adds up to something the size of a relationship, and pretending otherwise is how these arrangements go wrong at home.
So I say it early. My husband knows the shape of my week, will know your first name, and will not be meeting you unless everybody wants that, which is unlikely and entirely fine. In return I am not available at weekends and I do not do surprises.
Forty seven, west London, eleven years in. My last partnership ran six of them and ended when he took a job on the other side of the world, amicably, with a long dinner and no drama at all.
Not looking for anybody who wants to be the centre of my life. Not looking for someone who will find the arrangement thrilling, because it is not, it is admin. And not looking for a man who needs to hear my husband say it himself before he believes me.