Fifteen years against a fortnight, and a first year we got wrong

When we met he had fifteen years of this behind him and I had a fortnight of reading about it, and we handled the first year of that badly. Where it showed was in who decides things: he explained, I agreed, and it took until the second year for either of us to notice that the pattern had spread into the rest of our life together.

Thirty one and forty six, Noord, together four years.

What fixed it had nothing to do with rope. We stopped talking about it on the evenings we did it, and started talking about it on Sunday mornings, when neither of us was in a role and both of us were dressed and slightly bored. It is a completely different conversation. He is much less certain on a Sunday and I am much more willing to say what I actually think. It took us a year and a half to work that out and about ten minutes to act on it.

We are posting because we would like to know other couples with a gap like ours. Everybody we meet is either evenly matched or has one person who does not participate at all, and the specific problem of a fifteen year difference in experience inside one relationship is one we have never heard anybody else describe out loud.

Friends, then. Not a third, not a swap, not a project. People to eat with who will recognise the first paragraph.