Switches · the south of the city, Manchester
Fluent in the words, useless in a room, and saying so first
Pinned as two_years_online
- Wants
- several ordinary conversations in a chair before anything else
- Rope so far
- Two years of talking about it and none at all of doing it.
- Around
- the south of the city, Manchester
I can hold a two hour conversation about this and I have not once stood in a room where any of it was happening. Two years of typing to people, some of it very good indeed, none of it anywhere near my actual body, and I have begun to suspect I have got extremely fluent at the wrong half.
Twenty seven, the south of the city. What worries me is specific rather than general. I know the words, so I will read like somebody with experience, and then at some point it will become obvious that I have none, and the gap between how I sound and what I am will be awkward for both of us. So I am declaring it here, in writing, before anybody has to find it out.
I lean towards being tied more than tying, I think, but I have only ever tested that in my own head, and I am not willing to state it as a fact about myself. I would rather find out slowly than announce something I would then feel obliged to stick to for the sake of consistency.
What I want first is time in the same room as somebody, talking, more than once, with nothing at all scheduled to happen afterwards. Then, if it goes anywhere, a proper relationship rather than a run of first evenings.
Two years of a screen has been quite enough screen. What I want now is a person in the chair opposite, several times over, and then whatever the two of us decide after that.