How to Locate a Female Dominant Partner

Looking for a Domme? (Sorry to the guys seeking a Dom, but these rules work both ways) you’re checking in the wrong spot! There are only a few thousand members here. A tiny slice of them are women, an even smaller group among those are Dominants, and very few live nearby. So your odds of finding a local Domme who actually reads posts right under her nose? Almost nil. BUT A quick Google search (a harmless bit of peeping…) can get you started. I always say it: if you want a real-life Domme/Mistress/Play-partner, you MUST become known within the local scene personally. I wouldn’t trust my life with someone I’ve never met face-to-face; why would you? Conversely, no Domme will accept a submissive until she knows them well individually. The only exception is at a club or play-party where there might be a House Domme. You could get a lovely flogging etc., but that probably won’t turn into a one-on-one relationship. Munches are great for getting started. Think outside the box: the gay and lesbian communities often embrace kink and can point you toward local BDSM groups. is likely to be a good starting point there. Sign up (it’s free) and look up munches in your region. For those who don’t know, Munches usually happen in neutral, non-kink spaces like bars, cafes, or pubs. The dress code is mostly “vanilla,” so people won’t immediately label you as a freak! They are primarily social get-togethers where folks chat about everything from kinks to football scores (seriously perverted!!!) and bond over time. Going to your first Munch might feel daunting—I remember doing it 13 years ago, after organizing them for six—but once you take that leap, you’ll ask yourself why you waited so long. A genuine Domme is worth the effort, but the hardest part is stepping away from your computer screen. Best of luck:)