I wonder ... final padlock

I’m curious… What’s that feeling you struggle to put into words when you snap shut the final padlock, or tighten the last wrist tie? That specific moment as your life shifts from total control over to NO control?? As I mentioned in my intro, I have NEVER snapped that last padlock! Why?? Because I treasure my life more than the thrill of self-bondage. I can still “enjoy”