as the saying goes: "truth is found in wine"

A female cop cuffs a bloke for DUI. The officer informs him, “You have the right to stay quiet, sir. Everything you say can be used against you…” The inebriated man retorts; “Boobs.” :idea::idea::idea::idea: This married pair was dining at a fancy eatery when the wife glances over and spots a guy slumped nearby, clearly intoxicated. Her husband asks, “I’ve noticed you staring at that man for a while. Are you acquainted with him?” “Indeed,” she answers, “he is my former spouse, and he has been guzzling away just like this ever since I walked out on him seven years back.” “That’s impressive,” the husband remarks, “I never imagined anyone could party for that long.” :twisted::twisted::twisted: A young kid questions his mom, “Do all fairy stories start with ‘Once upon a time?’” Her mother replies, “Not always, sweetheart. Sometimes they kick off with ‘I’ll be working late at the office tonight.’” “Does Dad share tales like that?” “He did used to.” “What changed his tune?” “One evening he said he’d be stuck at work late, and I asked him, ‘Can I count on it?’” nog but miracles happen: Mrs. McGervey was strolling along O’Connell Street in Dublin when she bumped into Father O’Flaherty. The priest greeted her, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t you Mrs. McGervey? Didn’t I wed you and your husband two years back?” She answered, “Aye, that’s correct, Father.” He inquired further, “And are there any wee ones yet?” “Not as of now, Father,” she said. The priest continued, “Well then, I’m heading to Rome next week and will light a candle for you and your husband.” She thanked him warmly, “Oh, thank ye, Father.” With that, they went their separate ways. Years later, the two crossed paths again. The priest asked, “How are things these days, Mrs. McGervey?” She replied cheerfully, “Very well, indeed!” He followed up with, “And have you had any wee ones yet?” “Oh yes,” she said excitedly. “Three sets of twins and four singles—ten in total!” The priest was impressed. “That’s lovely! How is your beloved husband doing?” She responded, “He’s off to Rome himself to blow out yer fookin’ candle. a midlife pair had two stunning daughters yet constantly wished for a boy. They opted to give it one more shot at having the son they always craved. The wife ended up pregnant and gave birth to a healthy infant boy. The ecstatic dad hurried straight to the nursery to meet his new heir. To his surprise, he found what seemed like the ugliest baby ever. He declared to his wife: “There’s absolutely no way I’m this child’s father. Look at my two gorgeous daughters! Have you been wandering off behind my back?” The wife smiled gently and answered: “Not in this instance!”:shock::shock::mrgreen::mrgreen: Q: why steer clear of porsche drivers? A: because they rarely check their mirrors before pulling out.