Connecting with People on and Other Sites?

Alright, my office isn’t exactly a social hub and the traditional ways of meeting folks don’t seem to be going anywhere. It feels pretty hard for a guy like me: 32 years old, losing hair, carrying some extra weight, but I’ve got a house of my own, a new car, and a steady job with good health coverage and perks? I find it easy enough connecting with married women, though I don’t want to step on toes or cause trouble for those who are already committed. I’m just about ready to jump onto the well-known dating platforms, but thought I’d give the alternative scene and other free bondage sites a shot first. This way I can see if it’s truly what I want without rushing in headfirst. My profile is up on two different sites with zero responses so far. My picture got rated 7 out of 10; it’s quite conservative, showing me fully dressed standing by my car. The bio gets straight to the point. I’m searching for a girlfriend or wife who enjoys kinks like tickling, spanking, and being tied up. Should I sit back and wait, or should I wink at everyone or send messages within an hour of them appearing? Do I need to post a photo in just my underwear or even naked since I do have some shape and tone. My four-pack abs are almost turning into six-packs, and folks comment that I’ve got nice legs when wearing shorts. I logged on from another computer and searched for men; it seems most guys there show off their junk. Do I need to join them in doing the same? Thanks.